


A Worthy Ship

by anubislover



Category: One Piece
Genre: Boats and Ships, Canon Compliant, Eustass Kid is a Little Shit, F/M, Humor, Insults, Pre-Time Skip, Sabaody Archipelago, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:15:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22356256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anubislover/pseuds/anubislover
Summary: Eustass Kid is sick of his fellow Supernovas and their lame ships. That is, until he comes across the Jewelry Margherita.
Relationships: Eustass Kid & Killer, Jewelry Bonney/Eustass Kid
Comments: 12
Kudos: 54





	A Worthy Ship

**Author's Note:**

  * For [scribblehob](https://archiveofourown.org/users/scribblehob/gifts).



> Based off of a tumblr post talking about how Kid would hate his fellow Supernovas for not putting an effort into their aesthetics when it comes to their ships, this is a little something I decided to write for scribblehob out of the blue, since they've been a wonderful fan artist and friend these past few months.

Eustass “Captain” Kid was a passionate man when it came to his opinions on being a proper pirate. You had to be fearless, take shit from no one, steal everything valuable that isn’t nailed down, love treasure and violence, and be ready to fight at the slightest provocation.

But most importantly, you had to have an aesthetic and commit to it. The Kid Pirates were the perfect example in his not-so-humble opinion. They were badass, terrifying, dangerous, and just looked like they could ruin your day if you crossed them. He was proudest of his ship, _Victoria Punk_. After all, what was more terrifying than prehistoric skulls and flames on the sails, right?

As far as he was concerned, his fellow “Supernovas,” as the World Government had started calling them, needed to step up their game.

Landing on Sabaody, Kid made it his mission to check out his rivals’ ships, and so far, he wanted to beat the crap out of each and every one of them. As if Apoo couldn’t be more obnoxious, his ship had the stupidest-looking horn and speakers sticking out of its front. _Liberal Hind_ , X Drake’s vessel, was boring as shit, though Kid supposed he should have expected that from a former Marine. Bege’s ship had a kind of cool castle motif, but the guy’s theme was supposed to be the mob! The fuck did castles have to do with gangsters? “Mad Monk” Urouge’s had a gnarly figurehead, but the effort didn’t extend to the rest of the ship. Basil Hawkins’ _Grudgedorf_ had a decently spooky appearance if you ignored how the damn thing looked like it could go up in flames if you dropped a cigarette. Seriously, what was he thinking making the hull out of straw?

Speaking of straw, Kid had managed to catch a glimpse of Straw Hat Luffy’s vessel in the paper, and his was an even bigger disappointment. For a kid who was making waves by declaring war on the World Government, he might as well be sailing in a toy meant for a bathtub. It had some shitty, happy lion for a figurehead, and fucking mikan trees of all things.

Naturally, Kid was pissed at how utterly pathetic his fellow pirates were, and as he stomped around the archipelago, he proceeded to rant about it to Killer.

“And Trafalgar actually has the fucking _gall_ to call himself a pirate when he bobs around in a _goddamn submarine_! And it’s bright fucking yellow! As if I didn’t already have enough reason to kick his ass!”

“Calm down, Kid,” the first mate sighed, rolling his eyes behind his mask. It wasn’t that he disagreed with his captain’s assessment, but a man could only listen to a rant about such a petty, inconsequential thing for so long. Who cared if the other Supernovas’ ships were silly or boring? All that mattered was that theirs was more powerful and could get them to the One Piece.

Ignoring him, Kid snarled to the heavens, “Is there seriously not a single goddamn pirate in this generation with a ship I can respect?”

As if in answer, they arrived at the docks, and their eyes were immediately drawn to a ship that, quite honestly, looked like it was made of pizza. Melted cheese and green peppers decorated the sides, masts, and rudder, though there was also some fruit and a big ass chocolate bar near the stern.

“Killer?”

“Yeah?”

“The fuck is this?”

“A ship that’s making me kinda hungry, to be honest.”

“Who the fuck sails around in a fucking pizza ship?!” he snarled, ready to pull out his hair in frustration. This was almost as insulting as Straw Hat’s dumbass ship! When he found the worthless piece of shit who dared curse his eyes with such a vessel…

“Hey!” shouted a harsh, feminine voice from behind them. “You got a problem with the _Jewelry Margherita_?”

In tandem, the pair turned to face a pink-haired, scowling woman with murder in her eyes.

Looking down at the short, slender woman, Kid had to admit she was a looker, at least. And he did like a chick with fire. But he didn’t stand for disrespect, especially from someone he was pretty sure he could snap like kindling. “Who the fuck are you?”

“Who the fuck are _you_?!”

“I asked you first!”

Stomping forward and jabbing a finger into his chest, she growled, “Yeah, well I don’t give a fuck about that! You insult my ship, you’re at least telling me your name so I can write it on your tombstone after I fill you full of lead.”

Despite himself, Kid had to grin. Ok, if nothing else, the lady acted more like a pirate than most of the other morons he’d run into on the island. “Oh yeah? Go ahead and try; I control magnetism, so I’ll just steal your gun right out of your hand and shoot you with it.”

“Not if I turn you into the pathetic little crybaby you really are!”

“Why you little—”

“Kid,” Killer cut in, grabbing the larger man by his coat, pulling him back a few steps, “that’s ‘Big Eater’ Jewelry Bonney.”

Much as he hated to admit it, his first mate’s words gave him pause. Not because he considered the woman a threat—though he had heard tell of her having the power to turn people into kids, which gave her threat a bit more weight—but because of her epitaph.

Glancing back over his shoulder, Kid gave the monstrosity of a ship a second look. Bonney was famous for being a massive glutton, so the food theme wasn’t quite as outlandish as he’d assumed. At least she _committed_ to her damn theme.

“ _Jewelry Margherita_ , huh?” he asked.

“My family name and my favorite type of pizza,” she answered with a huff, crossing her arms and raising a challenging eyebrow, as if daring him to insult her prized vessel further.

“It’s…fitting, I guess,” he finally grumbled. “At least you chose an aesthetic and stuck with it. Even if it’s fucking food.”

“Yeah, well, what were you expecting?” she sassed. “I stole it from Big Mom, after all.”

Kid’s jaw dropped, and he suspected Killer’s did, too. “Big Mom? The fucking _Emperor_?!”

Lips turned up in a smug grin, Bonney cocked her hip and nodded proudly. “The crazy bitch wrecked my old one, so I stole one of hers as payback. Got it repainted, though; pizza’s way better than cake.”

“Won’t argue that,” Kid replied with a hint of awe in his tone, looking the vessel up and down approvingly. Jewelry Bonney might have had one of the lower bounties of the Supernovas, but goddamn, she was clearly the only one in the group he could actually respect. A ship stolen from the most powerful woman on the Grand Line, with a consistent aesthetic, and captained by a total hottie who, quite frankly, actually lived up to the name “pirate.”

Turning back to her, he asked, “You single?”

She blinked in surprise, then scoffed. “Who the fuck is asking?”

Right, he hadn’t actually introduced himself. Time to remedy that. “Eustass ‘Captain’ Kid,” he replied with an arrogant grin, sticking out his hand. “Behind me is ‘Massacre Soldier’ Killer, my first mate.”

Sneering down at the proffered hand, Bonney blew him off, strutting past towards her ship. “Two dumbasses with dumb names. Piss me off again and I’ll turn you both into drooling octogenarians who couldn’t get it up even if a whole army of naked woman gave you lap dances.”

“Hey, you never answered if you were single,” Kid called after her, undeterred. Honestly, the fact that she dared insult him instead of falling at his feet just made her hotter, and at least she was creative with her threats.

“Pretty sure my walking away answers that, plus the question that inevitably comes after it.”

“I’ll pick you up at seven, then!” he replied, barely able to hold back a maniacal cackle when she spun around to glare at him. “Come on, I’m dyin’ to hear how you stole a ship from Big Mom and got away with it. If nothing else, you’ll get a free dinner, right?”

That seemed to sway her opinion, as she gave a wide, mischievous grin. “There’s an all-you-can-eat buffet the next level up. So long as you’re buyin’ I think I can stomach putting up with you for a few hours.”

“Great. Maybe after, I can show you around my ship. It’s almost as badass as me,” he said with a wink.

“So, it’s going to be some sort of clown ship?”

“Why you little—”

Once more, Killer grabbed his captain by the back of his coat, dragging him away from the docks. “Easy, Kid. Wait to fuck things up until you’re actually on the date,” he said, the faintest hint of amusement in his tone.

“Tch. Whatever,” Kid growled, marching up the street. After a few minutes, though, the corners of his black lips lifted into a pleased grin. “Killer?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m gonna make that bitch mine.”

“Sure you are, Kid.”

“I mean it! The one pirate in this whole goddamn generation with an aesthetic and who actually acts like a pirate happens to be a total knockout? Clearly, she’s perfect for me.”

“Of course she is.”

“If she plays her cards right, maybe I’ll even make her my main squeeze when I become Pirate King.”

“Assuming she doesn’t beat you to the One Piece and claim the title first.”

“What, you think she can beat me?! I’ve got the higher bounty!”

Killer shrugged. “Sure, but she stole from one of the Four Emperors and lived. Have you managed that?”

Though he scowled, Kid had to concede the point. “Then I’ll just have to kill one of the Emperors to prove which one of us wears the pants in this relationship.”

“Oh, you’re already in a relationship, huh? Have you set the wedding date? Can I be godfather to your kids?”

“Shut up, Killer,” he sneered, though after a moment added, “but if we did have kids, she doesn’t get to name them. Otherwise they’ll be something like ‘Eustass Pepperoni’ or some shit.”

“What about 'Eustass Carolina Reaper’? Fits both your aesthetics and isn’t completely shit.”

“See, this is why you’re my first mate.”


End file.
